6 Reasons You Shouldn’t Go To Work Tomorrow
Tom
Okay, I’ll be first, then. My reason for not going to work is simple: Outside smells funny.
Travis
The reason you shouldn’t go to work tomorrow is simple: They don’t need you.
Think about it. How many times have you gone on vacation and come back to loads of work sitting on your desk, 84 voice mails and 320 emails with people all asking for things yesterday? Exactly.
Oh while you’re taking your day off there champ, I’d be looking for a new job since you’re obviously disposable in the first place. FYI.
Travis I hate you for having a job where you’re useless and still getting more vacation time than I do. I can’t leave my desk to take a piss without having 84 voice mails and 320 emails. You suck and I hate you. - Tristan
HAaaaahahaha wow. At my job I get paid more, get more vacation time, and am more useless then Travis. Suck on that, folks! - HP
HP
Boy, don’t I know all about that. Sadly, they do need me right now as we are in the busy season preparing for students. Wanna know why I didn’t go to work two days ago? I had a goddamn fever. Do you know what it takes to give me a fever? Hell, my average body temp is usually 2 degrees warmer than most. And this damn fever made me have to use a sick day when I was actually sick! That’s what pisses me off the most!
Tristan
There are bears outside. Think about it…you have to walk all the way to your car, then all the way from the parking lot to your work building, all without getting eaten by a bear! That’s just nonsense! And to make things worse, you have to do it all in reverse at the end of the day! As if it wasn’t hard enough doing it forward, now you have to do it backwards!
Frankly, I’m not going in to work tomorrow for my own damn safety. There are bears outside, and my boss expects me to be an acrobat or some crap. That’s way too far outside my comfort zone, and it’s just unethical to expect me to risk my life for some stupid job.
Will
Tomorrow (being Monday) is simply the perfect day for not going to work. Not only does it lengthen you weekend considerably, it shortens the rest of the work week. Besides, think of how little you could accomplish if you just put you mind to it. I’m excited.
Tucker
You shouldn’t go to work. In fact, you should probably just kill yourself.